I understand the strategy of “casting a wide net” in the online dating world and I’m sure it is successful for some. Sometimes I give the guys that send me the most asinine messages some credit for making the attempt. I suppose that is what I am doing by posting these messages.
E-mail from Dude 1 (who is 13 years younger than me, which is something that neither of us are interested in, according to our profiles):
Subject: have you ever thought about a relationship with…
Message: have you ever thought about a relationship with a guy where you are in charge and he follows what you tell him to do? I think it could be really fun and exciting. Let me know what you think :).
Well, no. No I haven’t. And I didn’t know that match.com was a guise for kinky dominatrix partnerships either.
E-mail from Dude 2:
Subject: Okay… here’s a question…
Message: Cold shower or hot bath?
What? Did I just waste 5 seconds of my day reading that?
E-mail from Dude 3 (if you read this guy’s entire e-mail, you are a better person than me):
So basically, the way I look at it, three VERY important things will happen here that will shape the rest of our lives together:
1. You and I are going to get together for an incredibly fun, romantic and memorable weekend. That weekend will be absolutely CRUCIAL as this first meeting will show that this handsome, sexy, romantic, intelligent, athletic, sweet, kind, personable and family-oriented guy IS the right one for you (and vice versa).
2. After this weekend is complete, shortly thereafter, you and I are going to go on a terrific week long vacation somewhere (cruise, beach, etc). As hard as you and I have been working lately, we BOTH deserve it.
3. After #1 and #2 take place, we’re going to recreate the whole “Meet The Parents” series, as I plan on popping an AMAZING Tiffany ring on your finger and making you the happiest princess ever. It’s time we give our parents the grandkids they always wanted, be terrific parents on our end, and watch them grow into strong Jewish men/women.
Anything else we each do on our end, is a waste of our time my love. Hope you’re having a great week- mazeltov! 🙂
If I think too hard about the planet that these men live on – where messages like these are possibly enticing…it makes my head spin. I’m sure there are women answering them. And that’s the scariest part of it all.