Denim Surveys and the Art of the Written Word

My recent correspondence on


hey there I know opposites attract so I figured we would be a perfect match, your funny, smart, in good shape, and seem witty, what more are you looking for? Let me guess a more attainable , humble, less egocentric version of Channing Tatum? Also I wanted to ask you because it looks like you’re into fashion have you ever heard of Joe’s jeans or 7 for all mankind?

(I know there’s a lot of magic in this message. So much so that it makes little to no sense. If you want to read it more than once, I totally understand).

I remember receiving this exact message from this guy months earlier, but since he was still carrying out his market research, I was curious…:


You’re selling jeans on okcupid?


lol im not selling jeans silly i was curious if you had heard of them?

Me (so silly):

Yes, I’ve heard of them.


thats awesome good to hear that


(No answer from me but awesome response from him)


so how long have you been on this site and have you actually met anyone from here?

I didn’t write back to him, but here’s a hypothetical answer:

Well, yeah, “Mike,” I have met people on here. None of them have asked me if I ever heard of jeans companies before though…so that’s a big turn-on. So is your lack of punctuation, capital letters or any grasp of reality. Have fun with your survey results!

This was not as good as the last two e-mails I received via, and from, respectively:

1. how are you doing today, can i know more about you.

(the guy is 24 years older than me and lives in Texas…besides his incredible way with words).

2. you are very nice!

(23 years older than me and obviously knows what he’s talking about).

Summer’s upon us – so don’t be jealous of my latest online romances! There are tons to go around. I promise.


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