Clairvoyance on Okcupid

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times (and I think I have on here): okcupid.com is chock-full of nonsensical messages. Here’s more proof:

“Onezen” was nice enough to not only compliment my countenance, but he also took some words of wisdom that I can only imagine were obtained from some higher power – like a fortune cookie – and shared them with me. Note my heartened response that is also viewable below:

onezen clairvoyant

I don’t understand what someone who sends this message expects the recipient to do in return. It’s not even mean or- GASP! – grammatically incorrect like this:

Hello,

Dropping unannounced; so beg apologies beforehand.

Since you are from the City and I moved into the City around 8 months ago without getting much time to see around: will you be willing to show me around….

In return I can tell you some jokes (perhaps) or give you one of my paintings. I live in UWS by 54th. I want to see some galleries and attend an Ensemble. I swim regularly in my gym, but do you happen to know if there are places outside, a lake perhaps.

Great day,

S

…Or this:

Hello’ how are you? You alright’ can you meet me for coffee?

…Actually, it’s similar to this gem:

hi my good heart sister. u are e special people we want in life. i cant forgo u for any other person. and could see, u will be a faithful partner

It’s just… a rambling horoscope offered within a message on an online dating site.

The usual.

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