Judging Tommy

If this text conversation gives you a headache, then join the club. These are screenshots from a “get to know you” introductory conversation my single friend had with another great person named Tommy. Is it an undocumented rule that all of us have to have at least one bad experience with someone of this name?! As if it is not completely obvious, her messages are in green (and make sense) and his are in gray, and are mostly misspelled.

(screenshots from text convo)

Let’s repeat one of his best lines: “Why do girls feel the need to ask about a source of income i couldn’t tell ya.”

1. She literally asked “what he does” most likely to learn a bit about him, and what he spends his time doing.
2. She doesn’t represent all “girls” and what they “ask.”
3. Please note that his first question to her is if she has children or wants them – as though that is not personal or intrusive at all.
4. Why can’t he spell anything? Did he really win the lotto? Do all people who declare how much they earn per hour claim that their work is personal business?
5. Since when do people at law firms have “power”? Are we talking about super powers?
6. Why does he type “lol” so many times? Is it because he knows what the “opposite of a problem” is?

Net-net: It seems as though this conversation went south in about 5 minutes. After combing through it for context clues, I decided that “Tommy” has an obsession with Judge Judy and wishes he worked for her, at a real legal office, not one that he made up. He also wants to discuss fertility and reproduction, as his “safe” and “non-personal” topic.

Way to go, Tommy. Making the online dating game better with each misspelled and angry text.

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2 thoughts on “Judging Tommy

  1. Marlene says:

    In case anyone is wondering…. I’m the green bubble! Just FYI, this guy actually had the gall to text again a while later. I had no clue who it was, so of course I texted back. Long story short, he literally told me he was going to slash my face wide open when I figured it out and told him to stop texting me. Thank god this guy’s red flags had already come with flashing neon lights!!

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