online dating

Tales of the Tinder: “Tattle-tale”

I’m sure there is a plethora of people who have online dating profiles that are also in some sort of relationship, whether they are married, have a boyfriend / girlfriend or someone else basically thinks they are maintaining their business only for them. I’m sure of this because I have heard way too many stories of lovers gone astray via dating sites, but I have never witnessed it from inside of the dating pool myself…until Tinder. I can’t comment on females doing this (although I am sure it happens), but I can say that I have found at least a handful of men that I know in real life who are definitely not single on the app. Now…if I recognize these people as I sift through their Facebook profile photos, won’t other people be able to do the same?! For crying out loud – it is connected to one’s Facebook account! Do people want to be caught? I just don’t get it, and as I said in an earlier post, it still seems to be a fun kind of toy for people to play with. They can probably use a site for affairs, like Ashley Madison or something, but those sorts of things aren’t free. So now we are talking about CHEAP cheaters. My favorite!

18mhewv6h96qljpg

I actually saved an entire conversation with someone I had on Tinder who I recognized as a mutual friend from many years ago. The last I heard, he was married with a kid, but seeing him on the app made me think that his status had changed. But no. Being completely candid – I will say that I only realized about halfway through our discussion, that his photo (from his Facebook profile of course) is with his wife. A few days after this conversation, I noticed that he had changed his Facebook picture to just one of himself, alone. Interesting.

Without further adeau, a Tinder transcript between the “happily married” man (henceforth, referred to as “HMM”) and I:

HMM: Hey
ME: Hey. You recognize me, right?
HMM: Yeah lol
HMM: What r u doing on here? Lol
ME: Haha – just making sure. We know basically all of the same people. I thought you were married 🙂
HMM: I am married.
HMM: Lol
HMM: R u a tatle tale
ME: So what are you doing on here?!?
HMM: Just passing the time
HMM: I don’t get involved
ME: I’m not a tattle tale. I’m single.
HMM: I know
ME: So that’s why I’m here.
HMM: So this is really for single ppl to hook up right?
HMM: Right, I just wanted to see what all the fuss what about
HMM: I’m happily married
HMM: 🙂
HMM: Any cool guys on here or are they all freaks? Lol
ME: Hmmm ok. I’ve met some decent ones and I’m certainly not looking for random hook-ups. I can typically sniff out the freaks.
HMM: Haha
HMM: Yeah
HMM: Good for you
HMM: That’s cool*
HMM: I literally just downloaded this with my single coworker sitting next to me right now
HMM: Lol
HMM: But I can see this getting me into trouble!!!!
HMM: Not my thing!
HMM: How r u anyways?
HMM: Loooooong time
ME: I’m good. I can see how it can be interesting.
HMM: So let me ask you something?
HMM: Just between us?
ME: Ok.
HMM: Promise?
ME: Ok.
HMM: Why did you click on me? Lol
ME: I thought maybe you were single if you were on here. Lots of people get married and then divorced.
HMM: Right
HMM: Ok
HMM: Lol
HMM: Good luck
HMM: 🙂

And then I blocked him.

Let’s all hope that he was being sincere by telling me he was using a dating / “hook-up” app to pass the work day, shall we?

*Sadly, I missed taking a screenshot of the piece of the conversation where he tells me I look great and that I should have no problem finding someone. You know – ‘cause I’m on the app for ego stroking from a married man.

Tales of the Tinder: “Tinderella” and Paranoia

Being a modern lady, I believe that it is my duty to try out the latest platform for singles to meet. For those of you who are not familiar with it, Tinder is an app that connects your Facebook “About Me” section along with your Facebook photos to create a geo-tagged profile page for you. Once a profile is created, you can search for people by gender, age and distance from you. Two people will not be able to communicate with each other until they both choose to like each other or “swipe right” on each other’s profiles. More questions? Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I will cover every detail at some point.

A few notes on Tinder for the paranoid / non-single / “happily married”:

– Um, no Facebook doesn’t tell everyone that you’re a loser searching online for dates

– It’s really not that interesting – and works pretty much like every other online dating site – meaning you still have to filter out the crazies. Yet, for some reason – everyone I know is dying to check it out like it’s a new toy that they want to play with – how did that happen?

– In my opinion, it is solely based on photos, and I’m okay with that. Those who are on it and complain about that factor should use another site or app. The people who argue against the “superficial” nature of Tinder are most likely the same people who say they “hate talking about themselves” in their written profiles and direct users to “just ask if you want to know anything else” on other sites.

– It is for people who are looking to hook up or date! If you have a profile on there, don’t tell me you are just “peeking around.” More on those winners in a bit..

This eye-opening video was sent to me by a co-worker who claimed that, as a blogger that writes about dating, it is my duty to view, share and emphasize the fact that, in general, like EVERY OTHER ONLINE DATING SITE, men certainly do view Tinder differently than women:

Like I said: filter out the crazies. More to come!

Bob

Forget about people you get along with, who seem to be a great match for you and then disappear for no obvious reason whatsoever. Nevermind the blatantly WRONG people who swim in the contaminated pool of online dating. Sometimes the smallest details can hinder the beginnings of a romance.

Bob had so much promise. He looked like a meatier guy than I’m used to in his profile pics, but by no means obese or sickly. He had a cute face, a good job and was very friendly in our correspondence. After a few days of pleasant texting, we decided to talk on the phone. He told me that he had a cold for the past few days, but was feeling a lot better and would give me a call as we had planned.

know, no

Source: http://homophonesweakly.blogspot.com/2013/03/meatier-meteor.html
(Side note – it’s embarrassing that English-speaking people confuse these two words!)

The first issue was that he sounded TERRIBLE. His voice was really scratchy and it sounded really difficult for him to get his words out. Yet, he told me he was doing great and I could decipher his words so we started talking. I think we first started talking about working out, since I had been at the gym earlier and I attempted to break the ice by making fun of sweating while on the treadmill. Bob told me that he took salsa lessons every week and was starting to get good at it (it had been a bet between he and his brother if he would go, and he ended up liking it) which I enjoyed hearing. What I didn’t enjoy hearing about was the “soaking wet” body he had in his dancing clothes when dancing, and how he never thought it would be such a good work-out. I give Bob a lot of credit for dancing with strangers, but I just couldn’t get the image of a large man making scratchy sounds while doing salsa steps in two t-shirts that he had soaked through out of my mind once he shared that with me.

Sweating_guy-1
Source: http://reedcar.wordpress.com/

After the sweating, we started talking about where we each live. It was then that Bob casually mentioned that he didn’t live in Queens, as he listed in his profile, but spent most of his time in Delaware at his parents’ house. He still rented the place in Queens for work, but was planning on getting rid of it soon. I thought, “so what the heck is he talking to me for?!” Delaware is not exactly next door to New York City. I didn’t say anything about that, considering we didn’t know each other but I was sufficiently confused and his coughing started to increase.
This wasn’t the soul-singing deep voice that some people get when they get sick:

This dude sounded like he had gotten into a fist fight with a large cow…and then he swallowed the cow…but some of it was still stuck in his throat. Sexy, isn’t it? Anyway, after he said a few words, he would crumble into a coughing spell to the point that I was on the other end, genuinely concerned for him, asking “are you okay?!?” to which he would skip a beat, and say “yep, I’m fine.”

I’m pretty sure the finale was his largest coughing fit of the call, where I believe he spit something out at the end (cow hide?). Being who I am, I couldn’t help the sarcastic “that’s sexy” comment to come flying out of my mouth. Well, Bob was amused by that as well, starting laughing which caused more coughing. That was when I said I was going to let him get off the phone…and get first aid or something.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression, even on the phone. I’ve screwed things up on my own enough to know that. I hope Bob’s cough went away and he’s enjoying sweaty salsa in our first state. That’s what Delaware’s known for, right?

My Miniature South African and his Love of Anything Cultural

Oh Gavin, you were absolutely perfect on paper…or on my computer screen, as it were.

“Why haven’t I written to you sooner?” was the first sentence of my response to the gallant message that Gavin, the South African psychologist (yes, you read that right) penned for me via JDate.

He was charming, educated and looked really handsome in his photos. Gavin seemed to be a dream come true. But pssh, I’ve dealt with that one before. I wasn’t going to get ahead of myself. Well…besides imagining how cute our half South African babies would be and all of the international traveling our whole future family would be doing…

He chose a cute wine bar that is less than a 5 minute walk from my office. If I remember correctly, Gavin was already at a table when I got there. First detail I noted was that he definitely wasn’t as handsome and was definitely a few inches shorter than he appeared to be in his profile photos. But he wasn’t necessarily bad looking, had that awesome South African accent…and a J-O-B! It was a bit intimidating that he worked to evaluate and treat inmates with psychological and mental care at a very well-known prison in the tri-state area. But hey – we all have to make a buck.

So, while he wasn’t as physically attractive as I thought, he did have a brain that he actually used in dialogue. It was the beginning of September when we had our date and the upcoming Jewish holidays were brought up (by him). I’m pretty sure he asked me how I would be celebrating the Jewish New Year. I think that is the case because when I replied that I will be celebrating with some of the usual family members, then asked what his plans were, his reply was, “We will Tashlich and do the Selichot with our Machzor. It should be a joyous yontif.”

So I just sipped my wine. Wow, I thought, this guy is really Jewish. He just spoke in mostly Yiddish and I have no idea what he said.

We had also ordered a selection of cheeses at the bar, and as with literally any cheese product I eat, all of them were delicious. I made a comment about how tasty the cheese was and Gavin’s reply was, “Oh I know – I love this epoisses. It tastes like it’s by Isigny Sainte Mere – but I’m not sure, are you? I have another type of this at home. I keep it with my challerhocker in the fromage decoupage.”

Crickets.

gavin

http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/920325

Once again, I had no reply. Who the heck knows the names of all of the fancy cheeses and has them in their home? I have always been a “curd nerd,” thinking that any cheese type will do. Packaged American cheese slices? Delish! String cheese? Great for breakfast. Basically, anything. But this fancy talk was way over my [cheese] head.

I think at some point, Gavin decided that he couldn’t accept my ignorance because our parting was final and I never heard from him again. He might have left his psychologist gig (which – by the way – would have been really interesting to learn about – had he brought it up!) and became a cheese instructor for the Yiddish…Who knows.

Gay ga zinta hate.

Nice Profile Pic – Part 2

Just to remind you that these images have been plucked straight from the main / sole profile shots of many of the supposedly available men in the tri-state area. I know; I’m really confused as well.

nice profile pic 6

I like a good sweatpants, sweatshirt and hood pic. Especially when it covers the actual person up and you can’t really see what they actually look like. Thanks, Rocky Balboa.

nice profile pic 7

Why is the teddy bear taller than the girl? And why is she in need of a hug? And why am I asking these questions? Idiots…

nice profile pic 9

I love me some Rainbow Connection and I’m a huge Muppet fan in general. This kind of tugged at my heart-strings, but Kermie just looks a bit tuckered out…probably not good dating material for now. What is on the other side?

nice profile pic 8

This pic basically means that this person is a chocolate starfish, right? Umm, great way to get click-throughs…or a lot of automatic hatred…

nice profile pic 10

I’ve been trying to think of something substantial to say about this pic for weeks. Something even more substantial than this guy’s hair. Maybe you can help me out?

Denim Surveys and the Art of the Written Word

My recent correspondence on okcupid.com:

2ofakindguy:

hey there I know opposites attract so I figured we would be a perfect match, your funny, smart, in good shape, and seem witty, what more are you looking for? Let me guess a more attainable , humble, less egocentric version of Channing Tatum? Also I wanted to ask you because it looks like you’re into fashion have you ever heard of Joe’s jeans or 7 for all mankind?
mike

(I know there’s a lot of magic in this message. So much so that it makes little to no sense. If you want to read it more than once, I totally understand).

I remember receiving this exact message from this guy months earlier, but since he was still carrying out his market research, I was curious…:

Me:

You’re selling jeans on okcupid?

2ofakindguy:

lol im not selling jeans silly i was curious if you had heard of them?

Me (so silly):

Yes, I’ve heard of them.

2ofakindguy:

thats awesome good to hear that

Survey-851x1024

http://survey4u.org/

(No answer from me but awesome response from him)

2ofakindguy:

so how long have you been on this site and have you actually met anyone from here?

I didn’t write back to him, but here’s a hypothetical answer:

Well, yeah, “Mike,” I have met people on here. None of them have asked me if I ever heard of jeans companies before though…so that’s a big turn-on. So is your lack of punctuation, capital letters or any grasp of reality. Have fun with your survey results!

This was not as good as the last two e-mails I received via Match.com, and from okcupid.com, respectively:

1. how are you doing today, can i know more about you.

(the guy is 24 years older than me and lives in Texas…besides his incredible way with words).

2. you are very nice!

(23 years older than me and obviously knows what he’s talking about).

Summer’s upon us – so don’t be jealous of my latest online romances! There are tons to go around. I promise.

No Voice

John was a cool guy. Regardless of the way in which I spin our experience together in my head, I can’t really say that there was anything majorly screwed up about him. I can’t say that once we met, I felt too much chemistry either. So why would I even bring him up? Well…a few odd things happened on our date and I think they need to be scribed for posterity.

John and I had spoken on the phone early during the week and made arrangements to meet up for a drink that upcoming Friday. It was the beginning of summer and not only had I felt some sort of sniffle coming on, I had spent a decent portion of the day spraying the perimeter of my apartment with very strong bug spray to alleviate a small spider issue. The spray was meant for both the outdoors and indoors, and I probably would have benefitted from opening my windows just a tad more after spraying, so I didn’t swallow most of the vapors. My bad.

About 6 hours later, I stood outside of a really cute bar (his choice) waiting to meet John for Happy Hour. It was early evening at the beginning of the summer and the sun was pretty much blinding me as I stood by the bar entrance, casually turning my head to and fro, to see if he was making his way toward our meeting spot.

Suddenly, a guy in a black t-shirt and dark-framed glasses walked swiftly past me and into the bar. I could have sworn it was John, and as it turned out it was.

run to bathroom
https://forums.playfire.com/general-discussion/thread/96053?page=2#post-2647305

“Did you just rush into the bar by any chance?” I texted him.

Two minutes later, he replied, “Yeah, I really needed to go to the bathroom.”

Fair enough. I suppose.

So I walked into the bar and we greeted one another, got some cocktails and sat at a little table. Our conversation went pretty well. I have nothing against glasses, but didn’t really expect him to be wearing them, since he wasn’t wearing them in any of his photos – which is why it kind of threw me off when a be-spectacled version of him ran past me towards the loo. To be honest, I didn’t find him as attractive in person as I thought he was in his photos but he was a good guy with a warm personality so I thought chemistry could possibly develop.

We were talking about traveling a little bit, and I mentioned a recent work trip. John asked who I went with on the trip and when I told him “my boss,” he asked me if my boss was male or female. There were a few more questions after this from him, which basically turned into John claiming that there was something besides work going on between myself and my male boss. You know, because every workplace is a setting for a porn movie. Oh and EW! So that was a little awkward, but we moved on to another topic.

accusatory
http://www.ehow.com/how_6802365_handle-accusatory-boss.html

John was eventually on his third beer and once we were past the accusations of the affair I was having at work, he brought up the innocent topic of a friend’s upcoming wedding. He was one of the groomsmen and was really excited about it, as it would be a vacation for him and some friends across the country. We were discussing some of the details about it and my voice basically dwindled down to a whisper. I couldn’t get any sound out above some scratches and squeaks, despite multiple attempts at clearing my throat. I was not only sick, but I was instantaneously hit with laryngitis.

sorrycantspeak
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sgoralnick/93388706/

I believe it was right around the time when my voice disappeared that a large portion of John’s sanity went with it. First he said, “I would love for you to be my date for the wedding but you know, we just met.” Well, yeah…that’s true John. Then he asked me at least 3 times during the next 10 minutes why I didn’t seem like I was into him. I smiled and tried to talk as much as possible, swearing (in a scratchy whisper) that I was enjoying myself and everything was fine. It was almost as if he was accusing me of not liking him…very early on in our “relationship.” He wasn’t the least bit concerned that I couldn’t speak…only that I didn’t seem interested enough. So at that point, I was uncomfortable with both my date and my state of health. It was time to go.

I think John walked me to the train station from the bar and basically waved me away.

I ended up not being able to speak for two weeks. While I wasn’t challenged to explain to anyone else that I, indeed, did like them or that they had just sprinted past me toward a urinal, it was extremely frustrating.

Damn spider spray.

Lessons in Eagerness

Typically, I am not attracted to people who are overly fervent to date me from the get-go. Why would one be so excited that you exist and are talking to them when they don’t know anything about you? It is usually a sign of desperation or imbalance …which are two traits that I try to steer very clear of.

eager crazy dogs

For some reason or another, I allowed the following situation to occur. As though you can’t predict what happens, please humor me and learn–

I received a message through Match.com from an attractive and friendly guy. We exchanged a few messages. I was definitely interested in him, even with his quickly-peaked interest. Here’s a part of his fourth message to me:

hello,

All I can say is WOW!!! lol I have nothing to top that last email! all I can say is I read it on the subway and I developed an ear to ear smile and everyone on the subway was starting at me because I looked like I just won the lottery.. not sure if you have ever seen the movie Analyze This? allow me to reference a line from the movie where Robert Dinero is elated with Billy Crystal and he says, “Your good you!” “No you are you very good you!!” so now that I have gotten that out of the way there is nothing left to say but we must meet in person as soon as humanly possible, like right now..lol so as soon as you have free time let meet for a drink, dinner, dancing skydiving. Whatever. I am so down im below the ground!

Okay, so he was really into hyped-up streams of consciousness and corny metaphors, but “Hey,” I thought, “this guy’s got energy!”

I giggled at that (horribly written) e-mail and was flattered, which I suppose was the point. I also delicately pointed out that perhaps he should calm down on the excitement just a tad, considering we never met and had been messaging for about a day. He agreed and said he would chill out and we started the texting phase of our communication.

*Justin and I moved on to texting one another for the next few days. We discussed a number of different facets of our lives, and he asked me so many questions about my life and past, it seemed like he was drafting my biography. He mentioned how it was fate that we had met – more than once – and discussed future experiences we would have together several times. I was a bit put off, but decided to go with the experience.

He had asked me to meet him for our first date that coming Sunday, and when I checked in with him the day before to see where we would meet, he told me that he had to go visit his sick grandmother instead of meeting up. Mr. Eager all the sudden had other plans? I was a bit skeptical about that considering it was the first mention of Grandma, but wished his family well and we pushed our plans up to the next Tuesday.


“I’m all broken up…boy…”

So, 8 days after Justin had first written to me and basically demanded marriage, our “date” day had rolled around and I hadn’t heard from him. I probably shouldn’t have even bothered, but I texted him to see if we were still meeting up that evening. Here’s a texting summary:

Justin: Sure. Let’s definitely meet up.

Me: Okay, what time would you like to meet and where?

Justin: Hmmm…let me get back to you in a few.

Me: (still wondering where the eagerness had gone, thus being a total idiot) Okay…well let me know. By the way, it’s a bit weird that I have been texting you first for the past few days. It’s kind of making me feel apprehensive. I hope everything is okay?

Justin: Yep. Oh, I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.

Me: Cool – so I guess just let me know where you’d like to meet up later.

—- TRUE CRAZY STARTS HERE —-

Justin: Look**, I met someone else and I think I have a strong connection with her. I want to see where it goes. But I think we can still meet up…as friends.

Me: (still assuming there was some logic left) Well, that’s fine. Why don’t we just see how we get along and go from there?

Justin: I think we should just be friends. I told you we would hang out so I don’t want to break my promises but just as friends.

Me: Okay… but I’m not understanding how someone that was so eager to meet me 3 days ago is now very serious about someone else…

Justin: Look, I don’t think we should meet up at all. Let’s just chalk this up to a funny experience and move on, okay?

Me: Wow.

I’m not going to say that I was too smart in still trying to hang out with Justin and I admit I look like a total loser for trying via text.

It is often a turn-off when guys are so eager when they don’t know you at all. In retrospect, it is even more of turn-off when they demonstrate a true personality disorder about a week later. I’m pretty sure I was just curious and made it a personal challenge to get him to meet up with me. A task I put on myself to get to see the crazy in person I suppose.

This is not really a story I am proud of, but it provides a good lesson in yet another form of insanity.

Early eagerness = Permanent Lunacy

*Named changed…just because…bleccch.

** Anyone who starts a verbal or written statement with the word “Look” is a melodramatic weirdo. Remember that.

Valentine’s Day with Ralphi

The following was the offer I received for Valentine’s Day:

Hey there. I am going to be hosting a party on Valentine’s Day for divorcees ages 35-55 in NYC. Would you like to be my guest? No cost to you if interested. The last party I hosted had about 50 attendees and everyone had a good time. We have a facebook group at and a page at.

Please let me know if you would like more details.

Thanks. Raphi Salem

A few items to note:

– I’m not a divorcee

– I’m not between the ages of 35 and 55

– I’m not destitute

– Where is this group Facebook page and regular page? He really left them blank…

– This exact message was sent to me twice in a period of 10 minutes

I hope Ralphi got a few bites. It seems that he casted a very wide net on Match.com. Perhaps he got thrown off for spamming. That wouldn’t be very romantic though.

ralphi

Not to be superficial, but if Ralphi looked more like this, we may have had a deal.
http://www.augsburger-puppenkiste.de/01-theater/01-spitalgasse/06-projekte/index.shtml

Pass on the love today – and EVERY DAY, y’all!

Why are we Holding Hands?

On a beautiful summer afternoon, I was obviously sitting inside, on my couch in the air conditioning, and staring at profiles on my favorite free online dating site. Jay and I started IMing and since he typed in full sentences and didn’t ask me to come over to his house within the hour in a costume (happens all the time), I decided that he was dating material. Jay had his own apartment, a job and looked to be pretty handsome. About 6 feet tall, with wavy dark blond hair and he worked at a music label (yes, I was shocked that some still exist too!) We bantered humorously back and forth via text for the next day or so and made plans to meet at a wine bar that Saturday night.

I had left another bar earlier after watching a friend’s band to make it on time for our date and it turned out that I was early. He picked a cute place. I sat at the bar and sipped my wine waiting for him to walk in, while yet again, trying to look cute and breezy. And then Jay came through the door. I suppose he kind of looked like the person in his photos, but there was something lacking. I honestly feel like online profiles can really mess with one’s head since they are only one-dimensional. This then forces us to create the second and third dimensions in our heads and if our date doesn’t match up to that creation, there might be some severe disappointment and lack of chemistry.

So there was zero attraction to the in-person Jay. Nothing blatantly wrong with his appearance but it just wasn’t there. But hey, he was friendly enough and we were at a bar, so I had no problem getting to know someone over a glass of wine or two. The topics of conversation ranged from how Jay’s 19-year-old cousin was crashing at his apartment to how Jay liked to keep mixed nuts in his freezer and randomly snack on them. No, neither of these topics or anything else we discussed made him any more attractive, nor did the film of sweat that was easing its way across his forehead and heading down the rest of his face. He swabbed his brow with some napkins, but the sweat wasn’t stopping. The moisture was that of someone’s perspiration in the midst of a heavy work-out, but alas, he was merely sitting at a bar.

Jay at the bar.

After about an hour and approximately 4 not-so-absorbent cocktail napkins later, I made my move to leave. I was staying at a friend’s empty apartment for the night, which was a few blocks away. Jay offered to walk me there, which I thought was nice and polite, until I felt a giant clammy hand reach out and take mine as we walked down the street. I nervously glanced to my side while Jay kept the conversation going, and I kept wondering what made him think that this was an occasion for hand-holding. Yet, I didn’t pull away.

About two blocks away from my destination, while we were in the midst of discussing something very intense (most likely mothballs or the whittling industry or something) the giant cold cut-like hand pushed me over to the door of a CVS pharmacy. And suddenly, there was a tongue in my mouth for a few seconds. Astonished, and wondering how the cold cuts got from my hand to my mouth, I pulled away and said the only logical statement I could muster: “Thank you.”

CVS / Lover’s Paradise

I was sufficiently grossed-out, if not now terrified that Jay thought we were having a romantic experience. I kept him chatting about music for the rest of the walk to my friend’s apartment, and when I announced that we were there, he seemed to lean in for another tongue lash, or even worse: an invitation upstairs. I giggled like a 5 year old school girl while he stared at me. I figured a kiss on the cheek and a “Thanks, talk to you soon!” declaration into the smoke that billowed behind me as I ran into the building would politely hint that I was not interested.

Once I got into the apartment, I took to scrubbing and sanitizing my hands and mouth as much as possible. As I started a text to my friend, asking how much white wine of hers that she would allow me to drink to kill the creepy boy germs and my memory of our experience together, an incoming message popped up:

“Now you know I’m a good kisser.”

I do?

Needless to say, Jay was another (incredibly creepy) frog in my quest to find a prince.